Ashley just left. We had a nice visit, like the good old days- we just talked. However, it's not really personal. I feel like we're not close enough anymore to truly talk about whatever. That, or nothing even remotely interesting has happened to either of us in such a long time that it's really a moot point. Either way, it's almost like we're forcing our conversations. Not really, it's not blatantly obvious or anything like that, it's just a slight note that I always pick up on. We talked about next year, our schedules, a party she's going to tonight to celebrate all the AP tests are over, our spring concert, our trip to the city, and I explained in-detail plot lines of in the heights and next to normal, incase we end up seeing either of those when we go on on may 30th. she apologized yesterday about her lying to me, and i honestly wasn't mad because i just spoke my mind and kept it going. not saying i entirely believe that she just happened to get a call from kellie just as she finished helping her sister with her homework but not too long after because she didn't hear from me.. it's really not the point. i'm babbling.
in health today, we were talking about prganancy and all the gorey details. Apparently, the only way to have a reasonable (aka, a tolerable) amount of pain is to get an epidural, which is when someone sticks a needle about the size of an unsharpened pencil into your spinal cord to numb the bottom half of your body. When I heard this, all the color drained from my face. So creepy to think about considering my scar is there and yada yada. EEEYOUCH. I'm not having kids. That's why they invented adoption. I'll adopt a kid who needs a family and stick with that. Works for me. IF I even want kids. I think I do, though. I love Simon soooo much. Just something to think about.
Tomorrow starts a 4 day weekend! I love memorial day. I really, really do. It makes me so happy to know that I have friday, saturday, sunday and monday off from school. OH SO GLORIOUS. It's kind of weird to think how 11th grade is practically over, save 3 regents exams and a concert performance. Regaurdless, i'll be a senior REALLY soon. Only one more year of highschool left. SO EXCITED!... So... nervous. Yeah. I'm definitely going to hunter, it's just a matter of getting housing and that scholarship and all the bells and whistles. I want to get it, I do, but at the same time, I kind of want to just get into hunter and be a normal student, not a macauly kid. I just don't want to have so much extra stuff to do. Lazy? Maybe. But I want college to be more than an academic learning experience, I want to truly be out on my own and explore the city for it's full value. Have fun. Be not single ;). Haha, I'd love to have a boyfriend senior year, but who are we kidding? Oh yeah, nobody. I mean, of course I have meaningless crushes, but I notice I always fall for the kid who i KNOW I can't have. Almost on purpose, to shield myself maybe? I don't know. They're all either gay or complete jerks, which does nothing for me. Le sigh. I don't know. I haven't had a serious crush since Anthony... Mike, whatever, and it clearly did not go well. That reminds me, that situation unfolded a bit. But I'll tell that when I actually care. It's not that I think I need a guy to make me feel good, but I'd like to explore a real relationship for once. The only one I've actually had was so stupid, and he too turned out to be gay, ha-ha.
I've been slacking lately, and I know it. I just don't feel like it matters as much. Clearly it doesn't, because I get great grades whether I do or do not try. Grades aren't the most important thing in life, and I feel like a lot of people think that way. SO not true. Speaking of, Ozman is still going to test me on the Beethoven. Which sucks, because I barely know it. It doesn't have to be memorized, but I haven't heard the whole thing, or even all the sections. I can't possibly pull this one out of the bag. I'm not performing it or anything, but she still wants to test me. WHICH SUCKS, and is so not fair may I add. Sorry, no, I didn't give a flying f*ck about the beethoven while I was recovering from 2 rods and 20 screws being implanted in my back. MY BAD. wjkghowgowijfownfg, seriously, this whole thing is such a turn off. It's made me seriously consider not taking chorus next year, which just sucks so much because I do love it, it's just always so miserable and boring. It really has been all year. And I'm not going to use it ever. But they are going on a big trip next year so... UGH I'm keeping it. Just ranting.
I'm going to stop rambling now, because really nothing happened, I just felt like updating this thing because I'm commited. WOO! Until next time-
Em
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment